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Do I Still Love You?


These thoughts that swarm around my head
Loosing my breath ever time I hear your voice
Blushing every time you say my name

Do I still love you?

It has been over a year and a half
And you still feel the same about me
But you have a girlfriend

Do I still love you?

How can you be with her when you love me?
How can I tell you I love you when it wouldn't be the same?
When can I see you again?

To touch your body
To hear your voice
To see your bright smile light up your face

So many times I wish you were still with me
But I let you go
And that was my mistake

I miss you so much
I want you to hold me in your arms
Like you once did before

Do I still love you?

That question comes up to my head so many times
But the real question is
...........

Do you still love me?
©2009 =MrsMiroku
:iconmrsmiroku:

Author's Comments

It was jsut something that was passing my mind when I get into deep thought. I hope you guuys like it.

Critiques


:iconcrissfrgger13:
This poem is defiantly very deep. Of course, I feel that way mostly because I can relate to it very closely.
Overall, it is written well. The repetition of the most important line can have a huge effect on a poem, as it did with this one, letting the reader know what the speaker is feeling. Also, the slight change in the very last line has a large effect for the reader, making them come to a quick conclusion and revealing what it was trying to convey.
One thing that I would say to improve on future writing is to proofread or if you do already, let someone else take a look over your work because there were a few inconsequential things that could be avoided (like the use of ever instead of every).
Once again, I'll say this poem is well written and keep up the good work!
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

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Comments


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:iconeevie-chu:
It's beautiful ;w; <3

--
My Logan:heart:

January 12- our Anniversary~♥
:iconraining-symphony:
i love this poemmmm~

--
Hello Peoples~
:iconmrsmiroku:
Thanks! How was the day with Logan?

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:iconmrsmiroku:
Thanks! It didn't take much thought.

--
*tee hee hee* Join my club!
AnimeFanArt-Club >>>>>>>>>>[link]
It is were you could draw your self with your favorite anime character(s).
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:iconraining-symphony:
Then you make writing poems seem effortless~ :3

--
Hello Peoples~
:iconmrsmiroku:
*laughs* Thanks!

--
*tee hee hee* Join my club!
AnimeFanArt-Club >>>>>>>>>>[link]
It is were you could draw your self with your favorite anime character(s).
I need more members!
:iconpoppiseedlullaby:
jw who is this poem about?

--
quod me nutrit me destruit
:iconmrsmiroku:
About my ex named Kody

--
*tee hee hee* Join my club!
AnimeFanArt-Club >>>>>>>>>>[link]
It is were you could draw your self with your favorite anime character(s).
I need more members!
:iconpoppiseedlullaby:
ooo lol i thought it was about alex and i was like grrr....

--
quod me nutrit me destruit

Details

June 19
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